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lunedì 30 agosto 2010

Now What?

I've been home from Middlebury officially for two weeks now, though it feels like much longer. I came home without any specific plans for the future, just dreams and ideas. To be honest, I was looking forward to taking some time off after a year of intense stimulation, and the past two weeks have been blessedly relaxing.

The job search goes on, at its own sometimes halting pace. Unlike many of my friends, I did not begin the job search last fall. I asked myself what the worst result of that choice could be, and I saw myself, essentially, in the position that I am in now: living at home and unemployed. I decided that such a position was not necessarily an undesirable one. Being at home has given me the space for various small desires to unbury themselves, although no tidal wave of self-knowledge has washed over me, forcing me to follow one direction over another. My largest desire has been for the past eighteen months, and remains, to return to Italy.

There was a time in July when I began to feel a rushing fear of worthlessness and resentment of what I believed to be my own aimlessness. For a week or so I felt crushed by the weight of my own undiscovered future, frustrated by the simple and undeniable fact that I was no longer climbing an evident ladder toward some tangible goal, as I have been doing for the course of my entire life.

This period of time ended when I read the chapter in A New Earth entitled "Your Outer Purpose." Outer purpose is your role in the outside world and is relatively unimportant. It is to be distinguished from inner purpose, which is your role in the awakening of the universe. Simply put, it is self-realization, dwelling in the state of perpetual peace that most people seek at some level of their consciousness.

The most shocking revelation of the chapter to me was this: your true purpose is whatever you are doing at this moment. Rather than looking away from what you are doing right now, look more deeply into it. I am sitting at my computer typing this post, and so that is my true purpose. Not forever, but for now. When I stand from the chair and leave this room, that will be my purpose. How could it be otherwise?

This simple realization released the pressure that I had placed on myself and opened up the space for new possibilities to arise.

mercoledì 25 febbraio 2009

Photo taken while walking back from the gym, when I got the idea for the photo-a-day project.

Today I made Liz's delicious recipe for banana bread, which came out mindblowingly.

Last night I had a dream about the chick pea soup I ate at the Trattoria di Mario a Firenze. It made me realize that eating in the U.S. just isn't the same as eating in Italy. When I first got back, I had very little appetite but thankfully I went to a quite authentic Italian restaurant which was incredible. However, when I told my host dad over skype, very enthused, that I had just "almost eaten an Italian-style meal," he responded, "Ok. Did you have appetizer, first course, second course, side dishes, wine, coffee, dessert and fruit?" "No," I said. "Alright, then. You did not eat Italian style. You know very well what it means to eat Italian-style!" In the dream there was this explosion of flavor, which is what it's like to eat in Italy. It's not just that their food is better-prepared with higher-quality ingredients and time-tested family recipes (all of which is true)-- it's that the food actually seems to be quite a different substance.

Incidentally, there was a bug that just landed on my computer and freaked me out, which reminded me of this one time early on in studying abroad, I was lying in bed reading around 11pm and I heard a thump. An enormous grasshopper was bumping up against my wall! I ran downstairs and my host dad came up to kill it.

It's just one of the little things I remember...
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martedì 24 febbraio 2009

Beth, Chalene, and Elisa
After the Winter Carnival Ball, walking back home in the snow.

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lunedì 23 febbraio 2009

I'm Back

So I''m back in the U.S. and I'm back at Middlebury. This is already the third week of the semester, and as is typical here, time chugs along like a snowball gaining size and velocity at the same time, schedule expanding in every direction...

I haven't posted for ages. I really do want to sum up January and my travels, post some photos, and most of all, write some kind of closing something for the whole experience. I will do that in the next few days. For now suffice to say that the experience is not closed, because I carry it with me each day. There are moments when the immense sadness of what I left behind comes over me, and it could be triggered by anything... for example when a girl with an Italian last name came to pick up her package at the post office last week. But in those moments, along with the sadness and wet eyes, there is also an appreciation for what I was graced to experience in those five short precious beautiful months.

Francesco our yoga teacher told me in our parting exchange that study abroad fills in the spaces that aren't filled by studying in your own culture. He also told me that after one week in American, I would already have my American head back. He was right on both counts.

Leaving the topic of Italy aside for the moment, I want to propose a new purpose for this blog in the coming months. Because I may not have time to write that much, and because a picture is worth a thousand words, I plan to post one picture every day of life in Middlebury. It may be representative of how I feel or the day I lived or the whim of a moment. But I'm captivated by this project because something about it tells me that it will open my eyes to the world around me, the way that taking photos while I was abroad opened my eyes a bit to the beauty of the way the world is composed.

Allora. Comincio...
This picture is a bridge: Chalene and I cooked our first meal together, penne alla carbonara, using a recipe I got from an Italian cooking site, giallozafferano.it. We americanized it significantly, using whole-wheat pasta and pre-cooked ham cubes, but the Italian idea still made me happy.

venerdì 2 gennaio 2009

Un po' di panettone non fa niente male...



...invece fa bene!

Oggi abbiamo mangiato la bistecca fiorentina! It's really raw and delicious. Dallas and I came home this morning. We left Prague yesterday at 1pm, then took a night train from Vienna to Firenze (7:30pm to 7am.) Instead of buying beds, which we did for the trip out, we bought chairs. Much better choice. The beds are like coffins-- 6 in one compartment-- and I did not sleep at all on the way to Vienna. Last night though we slept well enough, because the chairs slide out flat and our compartment had only two other people in it. At 11pm we turned off the light and the guy in the cabin said, "Facciamo un letto matrimoniale." So we slid all the chairs down and slept.

Then we came home and walked up the hill. We had to wake up Babbo to get into the house because the outside gate was locked... so he made us both big cappuccini and we ate breakast together (panettone di tre marie con marmellata e yogurt!) Later on this morning we went to an Italian supermarket, Babbo's favorite. He told us several times that Americans invented supermarkets... but I love Italian supermarkets more. They have some sweet inventions-- for one, you put in a 1 euro deposit to take your cart and get it back when you bring the cart back to its place... this way people don't leave their carts all over the parking lot. The other invention is a little wand that you use to scan all of your groceries as you put them in your cart. When you get to the check out, you hand it to the cashier, she reads the price and you pay-- senza attesa! Not to mention the buona roba che hanno dentro il supermercato.... caspita`!



When we got home, it was already lunch time so I set the table (apparecchiare) and Babbo showed us how to make the bistecca alla fiorentina. We made a salad and sliced the bread we bought.

Volevo raccontare le pezzette di saggezza che ci ha raccontato il Babbo:
- he doesn't understand vegetarians (they're half human.) oh, i have to agree after 4 months in italy!
- voipcheap is the way to go for overseas calling. wish i had understood when he told me that 4 months ago.
- secondo babbo a me piace mangiare cosi` tanto che basta mangiare e sono contenta. e` vero! diceva che e` una bella cosa... d'accordo. lo scrivo in italiano perche' va bene dice mi piace mangiare, ma in inglese c'e` qualche vergogna sul mangiare. beh io non l'avro` mai piu`.

For dessert we had torrone and panforte. Both are italian desserts eaten only in winter. Panforte is made out of figs and almonds and canditi... it's from Siena. Torrone is made from hazelnuts and fluffy stuff and yumminess...

This lunch also included 3 different wines: 1) aperitivo white wine, homemade from a former Bandini studentessa who married a Roman. 2) special red wine. every night we drink vino nobile montepulciano from this season... this bottle was from 2004. 3) dessert wine... veramente incredibile. from a small island south of sicilia where all of the clandestini land.

later i will upload photos!

sabato 27 dicembre 2008

L'ultimo post di 2008

Volevo dire:
Buon anno!!!
Sono grata per la mia 2008...
e auguro a tutti un anno favoloso e misterioso in 2009.

abracci!
beth

giovedì 25 dicembre 2008

Livelli di bonta`

Come si descrive il cibo:

Eccellente
Ottimo
Buonissimo
Molto buono
Discreto
Buono
Sufficiente
Mangiabile (Bevibile)
Immangiabile
Velenoso

Menu del Pranzo di Natale:
Salmone, ostriche crude, mushroom pastries with cheese melted on top
Zuppa: ravioli (stelle) in brodo di cappone
Lesso (Cappone)
Gherkins, Funghi, Olivi, Carciofi
Insalata
Tacchino arrosto con dentro i carciofi
DOLCI: frutta secca (mandorle, noci, nocciole), Pandoro, cioccolatini, e la frutta
Fichi con burro e noci
pisolino...

ora si riposa, e si sdraia nella terra, e si digiuna!

Buon natale! Tanti auguri!

mercoledì 17 dicembre 2008

Non ci posso credere... oggi e` l'ultimo giorno del semestre! Aaaayuh. Wow.
First, new words I learned today!
Caspari, perbacco: expression of positive surprise (thanks babbo) I think Caspari isn't right... I'll have to check on that.
Ciak!: equivalent to the english bam! boom! all of a sudden! basically a sound effect used for emphasis.
I love learning new words, and over the course of this semester I've noticed that my head seems to have a new-word capacity defined per day. That is, if you tell me too many new words at a time or in one day, I forget all of them. But if you tell me one or two a day, I'll remember them and be able to use them. You learn languages little by little, I think! This is what all of the Italians said to me at the beginning of the semester... piano piano! Non ti preoccupare! Also, now I am learning Arabic (3 words so far) from my host family's son-in-law's brother who just immigrated from Egypt. I can remember one word per day, or two. But the other day he told me a bunch, and now I couldn't sound out one from the other. Of course that could be because he was telling me most of the words as I sat in a zucotto-induced stupor. What is zuccotto? It is incredible. It is mind-blowing. It is a dessert (comparable to tiramisu, but made with panna--whipped cream-- instead of mascarpone.) It has liquor, coffee, whipped cream, and cake.

Back to the point. The semester is over!!! I still have one exam to take tomorrow, Art History. But all of my classes are over. Today I went to my last class, History of Contemporary Italian Cinema. That was a good class. At the beginning I was so lost because I didn't know any of the Italian film terms, nor could I understand the professor, nor could I understand the films we watched in class (no subtitles, not even in Italian, and characters speaking in dialect...) But by the end of the six weeks I was really following her, following the films, and interested. And sad to see it end.

As I'm sad to see this semester end. Thankfully I will stay in Italy until Jan 31. And I will make the most of the next six weeks...

What else is new in my life? Today I bought a pair of boots... oh I really like them. I have an indecisiveness problem, and Italian shopkeepers are really helping me to get over it. In the boot store this very nice man asked me why I didn't want to buy the boots I was trying on. "Is it the price?" "Yeah... but also I'm just indecisive," I replied. Well, he started talking about seizing the moment, taking life's pleasures, and when he got to the attimo fuggente (fleeing moment), I was hooked. Then he knocked the price down because of my smile!!

Tomorrow is the start of a five day adventure. Day one in Florence, finishing things up at school, lunch at Trattoria di Mario to share it with Hilary and Emily, yoga, dinner with Francesco and Natale, then hopefully sharing Plasma with Emily who has never been there. Friday is the day of partenza per Parigi, cioe` we're leaving for 3 days in paris!! And Tuessday, dec. 23, we'll come home. Then it will be almost christmas. I love Christmas. Florence's streets are decorated with white and yellow lights, and there are even Christmas trees up outside in the piazze. These things thrill me because I think there is less of a Christmas-y sense in the air, and seeing anything Christmas-y just makes me happy. Yesterday Dallas and I made cookies with Joann, our family's daughter-in-law from New York, and with her kids! That made me feel the Christmas spirit. Being in a home, baking, and listening to Christmas carols (and singing them...)

Merry Christmas!

sabato 13 dicembre 2008

La vita va avanti

Ciao! Today is Santa Lucia's feast day. Dallas told me this because she woke up earlier than me and found out from Babbo. In fact, the three of us had a contest to see who could sleep the latest, and I won. This is not unusual. I have come to be known as la bella addormentata (sleeping beauty) because the Bandini marvel at how late I can sleep. In any case, the unusual thing is that Babbo flat-out lost the contest and somehow woke up at 8.15. Accidenti. Obviously, Chi dorme non piglia i' pesce. Translation: Early bird gets the worm / He who sleeps will not get the fish.

Yesterday was a relatively packed day. I met my conversation partner in the morning, then Dallas and I accompanied her conversation partner and his friend to Trattoria di Mario to eat bistecca alla fiorentina! This is the famous Florentine steak, taken from a special kind of cow raised in Tuscany. It is served very rare (al sangue.) As Sra. Bandini says, you can see the blood on your plate. It is very expensive and extremely delicious, as I now know.

Dallas's conversation partner is also our yoga teacher and he is legitimately one of the nicest people I've ever met. We talked a bit about the stereotypical American abroad with him. Sadly, the Americans that one sees here in Florence do not flatter America. We came to the agreement that most people behave differently outside of their county than in it. And Americans outside of their country, at least here, seem to cling to each other in groups, shout in English, and generally misbehave.

Back to Trattoria di Mario: It's near San Lorenzo and I definitely want to go back. The atmosphere is familiare, which means that the staff call you by name, give you attitude if you ask for the steak well-done, there's only one menu posted on the wall, you can watch the chefs (probably all brothers and cousins) as they prepare your food, and you sit where you find a spot, potentially with people you don't know.

Friday afternoon included our final class of Art History, a visit to the Accademia. I was definitely impressed by the David. Wow. Great art just takes you prisoner for a while.

And then we had the end-of-semester party at a really fancy hotel with not-so-fancy food. It was quite fun though.

Well, I'd like to write more but other tasks are calling out to me. I just... really love study abroad. I'm not sure how I'll ever go back to Midd but I won't think about it until I do. It doesn't matter where I am, just that I am. More than anything I am just grateful for the experience that I've had here, everyone I have met, everything I have learned, and everything I have EATEN, of course!!

--Buon natale to everyone, Happy new year and lots of fun! (Italian tv ad)
--Let's Christmas! (Italian store ad)

domenica 7 dicembre 2008


This is me on the Ponte Vecchio when my parents visited.

It's December! Florence is filled with lights and Christmas trees. In the Piazza Santa Croce there is a German Christmas Market and I've already been there three times, scoping it out! They have strudel, crepes, candy, cookies, german sausage type things, and of course holiday trinkets and gifts. Everything is overpriced and most of it is delicious...

Today is Sunday, which means that we are going to eat il pranza familiare, just like every other Italian family! This morning in the kitchen I saw what we will eat: roasted pheasant with potatoes and rosemary; saltimbocca (skewers of turkey and sage); and schiacciata alla fiorentina, a flat cake with panna (whipped cream...yum...) I really like this tradition. Sunday is a day of rest and it is fun to spend it with family... even if I'm not spending it with my family!

Last night we went to a new aperitivi place: Plasma, in Piazza Ferrucci. It's in Oltrarno, really close to Ponte San Niccolo. We took the scenic route, as we often do, or at least as we often do when Emily isn't around to guide us... First we got on the D Bus which was going to take us all the way there. But after ten minutes or so, we felt a sfizio di camminare (we wanted to walk.) So we got out. But the bus had actually brought us further from Piazza Ferrucci. So we ended up walking about thirty minutes or so, I don't really keep track anymore. I asked inside a gelateria and got the face "Piazza Ferrucci?" The face that means I'm really far away.

Anyway, we arrived. Pleasant atmosphere, great food, and an amazing drink called "Cinnamon": chocolate, cream, coffee, and cinnamon. I hope to go back.

Now lunch is over and I'm trying to write my film paper on I Vitelloni. Not my favorite film but I'll try to find something to say about it (eight pages worth.) I can see the sunset from my bedroom window. It's really pretty but it's so early!!

And tomorrow is... FESTA!!! It is the last week of classes and tomorrow we have no classes. Really it's great because I have work to do... and now I can take my time.

giovedì 27 novembre 2008

Il giorno di Ringraziamento

Happy Thanksgiving! I haven't written in my blog in so long. We enjoyed an enormous Thanksgiving feast at Casa Bandini: my parents, my host parents, Dallas, and me. Shrimp in avocado bowls, frittata with ham, pasta allo scoglio (with fish; lo scoglio is the rock that the sea hits against, apparently), turkey, green beans, and finally a buonissimo panettone riempito da cioccolata. E poi i cioccolatini! Era benone. I played the translator as best I could... fun.

Today my parents and I visited il Giardino dei Boboli and the Galleria dei Costumi al Palazzo Pitti. The garden is huge and beautiful and filled with stray cats. The costume museum was interesting. I tried to read the information in English and in Italian so that I could learn some new vocab. I could have just read it in Italian but I end up skimming over the parts that I don't understand instead of observing them and learning.

Basta. I've been in Italy for almost three months! Wow I can't get enough of Italy. And Florence.

giovedì 6 novembre 2008

Cioccolata!


The chocolate festival was really crowded. There were hundreds of bancherelle like the one above left, from different producers of all different kinds of chocolate: from funky shapes and novelties, to super-organic cruelty-free; from big names like Lindt, KitKat, and Toblerone, to makers I'd never heard of before. There was chocolate pasta (to be cooked with cream and almonds), chocolate liquor, nuts and berries covered in chocolate, extremely rich hot chocolate, and every flavor, size, and style of chocolate bar imaginable. I wish I had taken more photos but I was too busy eating and fighting my way to the free samples.
Above: Ciao Antella! On my morning walk to the bus.
Below: a special cappuccino in Arezzo.
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più parole

ancheggiare: shake your hips
scutolare: shake your mele
amicissimi: very good friends

sabato 1 novembre 2008

Parole del giorno

Figliola, figliolo... daughter, son
bagascia...someone making a fool of herself
vischiata...spoiled
dispreggiativo...insulting
le mele: butt cheeks (literally apples): Alza le mele!: get up!

There are so many patterns of speech in Italian that just can't be expressed in English. As Rosa told us during orientation, the culture and the language are tied together and you can't separate them. And even though it is much easier for me to express myself in English, I'm starting to think in the patterns of Italian. For example the word invece. Literally it means instead, but its uses don't correllate with the uses of instead in English. Conversationally, you use invece to distinguish yourself, usually from whom you're speaking to.
Io mangio colazione alle otto
Io invece non mangio mai prima le dieci.
You can't do that in English that I know of. Not as elegantly, at least.

lunedì 20 ottobre 2008

Perugia, Roma, Firenze, e Calzedonia

So much happens and I don't have time to write!!

Last weekend we went to Perugia. I'll post photos eventually. It was lovely. As always, the four of us had some interesting traveling experiences. This time the trip included an untimely torrential rainstorm; enormous pancakes-filled-with-sandwich-meat (called piadine, a Roman specialty) and also my first experience with Italian fast food; a bus strike; a farmhouse hostel in the Umbrian countryside complete with goats, cats, kittens, an Italian girl with a Kansas accent, her large and lovable boyfriend from Kansas, foosball, local wine, nonni, and farm-fresh eggs; an underground city filled with chocolate vendors; the piazze di Perugia filled with chocolate vendors; mobs cramming for free samples; and a chocolate-overdose-induced stupor.

The weekend before that we went to Rome. This trip cannot be summarized really. A few notable highlights:
Giulotti: fabulous gelato. I ate fig, banana, cioccolate fondente, pistacchio, and bacio (choco-hazelnut.) Covered with house-made panna (whipped cream.)
Societe Lucerne: delicious aperitivi buffet. The travel guide told us we would find effortlessly beautiful people, and we did. Literally everyone was effortlessly beautiful.

There's more, but for another time.

As the days go by I love Italian more and more. There are so many different aspects of the language and culture to love. I love the hand gestures. I love the superlatives. I love saying "Prego," and "Buona Sera," and "permesso." I love learning new words! Impensabile. Diffusissimo. Candelo. I like all of the old ladies who ride the bus with me every morning to do their grocery shopping, and I love running through the winding roads in the Tuscan countryside, while tiny cars zoom by at incredible speeds, and I can see the hills falling away draped in olive trees and studded with grandi ville overlooking all of their roba.

I like walking through Florence like I know what I'm doing here and I like it when people aren't sure what language to speak to me in. Today, in oviesse, I took six articles into the fitting room and a security guard stopped me. "Signorina! Ma quanta roba ce l'hai?" "Sei. Va bene?" "No. La prossima volta, no. Solo tre. E porta tutta indietro dopo." I later saw him affront an American male wandering through the store with a bottle of beer. "Not in here," he said. "All right, I'm walking out, I'm walking," said American male.

Were an American to remain here permanently, one could form a very negative opinion of one's own country based on their behavior abroad. It almost would make it easier to stay, because you don't see many of the positive aspects of American culture here. The strange part of moving abroad to me seems to be leaving your country behind and having it move forward without you.

On a lighter note, here is a nice Italian commercial. I guess I like even the non-food ones.

mercoledì 15 ottobre 2008

Like me, the Italians love food. How do I know? I can see it on television. Yes, Americans have our own food advertising. It consists of "food porn" (showing the food in a close-up, larger-than-life shot, which has been scientifically proven to instill cravings for this food in the viewer.) It's not elegant. And from what I remember it emphasizes the social aspects of eating-- a group of buddies enjoying the never-ending nachos at TGI Friday's, for example.

Italian food advertising is about pleasure. See below:

mercoledì 8 ottobre 2008

Oggi

Things that happened today:
1. I overslept.

2. I ate breakfast very quickly. (caffe latte, apple con yogurt al frutti di bosco).

3. My host mom drove Dalia and me to our bus stop.

4. Since we arrived early, I walked across the street to L'Angolo del Caffe`. This shop has an amazing array of products after my own heart, including one million different varieties of chocolate, several types of cookies including cantucci (these Tuscan cookies are similar in shape to what Americans call biscotti, that is: crunchy and designed for dipping. Cantucci are meant for dipping in vinsanto [sweet dessert wine], not coffee, Italians assure you, although they go well with coffee too. I'd even eat them dry, but Italians won't. You can get them in all kinds of different gusti, usually almond but also chocolate, pistacchio, and cherry.) Last night, Babbo and I walked in to buy 2 chocolate bars (one dark, one dark with black licorish/ liquirizia ) and he introduced me to the family that owns this shop. Babbo is a vecchio cliente and told me that I will be treated well when I go there. He suggested a project in which eventually, I will taste every single chocolate in the shop and decide on the best one. One per day. So this morning I bought 2 Fiats. Cioccolate fondente ripiena di crema di Fiat! In the shape of a Fiat. Crema di Fiat, is, SURPRISE! fluffly chocolate-hazelnut cream. Nocciole are omnipresent in Italian dolci. Dalia and I ate our Fiats during the break between classes today. I'm not sure if any of the other chocolates can top this one, but I'm willing to find out. The signore also gave me a freebie... perhaps it will be tomorrow's choice.

5. After school, Dalia and I bought some panforte, which we have ogled in shop windows for one month and decided to finally sample today. We bought it in a bar at Piazza San Marco. Like many other Italians, the shopkeeper complimented us on our Italian. Come mai parlate Italiano cosi bene? Siete veramente bravissime! They're always very happy to hear Italian spoken by foreigners, and to converse with us in Italian. People who work in the service business in Florence (hotels, bars, shops) probably spend most of their time speaking English. They're always interested to find out why we speak Italian, and what we're doing here. It's been fun to chat with random Italians.

6. I updated my blog, which needs updating! See assorted pictures below, in chronological order, with brief captions.


Il Tramonto del Sole, maybe one month ago:
in the midst of our uphill trek from bus-stop to home.




























Italians don't understand why Americans don't eat rabbit. I've eaten it here and enjoyed it. Still I was a bit taken aback when I saw these adorable bunnies on jars of rabbit-flavored baby food.














This is at the wine festival nei Chianti. I bought a class and could sample as many different types of Chianti as I wanted. More pictures of this spectacular event in an upcoming post.
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martedì 7 ottobre 2008

Current favorite Italian phrases/words:

Ma non e` vero! (It's not true!)
Dondolare (the way that young people dance in clubs, bouncing around)
Ho da fare. (I've got some stuff to do.)
L'hai fatto apposto! (You did it on purpose!)
Dammi cinque! (High five!)
Noi siamo gran mangiatori di biscotti. (We're great cookie-eaters.)

I learn a lot of new words, but then I forget them. Usually it takes a lot of repetition to remember it, but listening to my Italian family speak helps a lot.